PSA for anyone applying for a long stay visa to Romania on the basis of family reunification

tldr: they ask you for a random extra document that is not mentioned anywhere on their website- an invitation from your spouse/other family member. also, wait times are SIGNIFICANTLY longer than stated on their website.

Apologies if this is not 'travel' enough, will move elsewhere if necessary. I would just really like that noone else falls into the same trap as me, as the lady at the consulate informed me that everyone who came to make this visa had the same issue and they have been begging the people who operate the visa application website to update it for ages.

So I applied for a Romanian long stay visa to gain the right to live and work with my Romanian spouse in the beginning of April. First, it took a month to get an appointment. OK, I can take that. In that time, I carefully gathered every document listed on the official website where I was given the appointment, plus a lot of extra proof just to be sure. Today I turn up to the appointment and I am instantly rejected because I am missing 'a notarized invitation from my spouse to come to Romania'. NOWHERE does it say this online. Not on the website, not on any immigration lawyers website, not when I went to the immigration office to check, nothing. Get a bonus- the wait time (once I have payed 150 euros for my spouse to make this and fast track post it to me) is going to be 60 days now, due to the new EU system. 60 days! And another week of waiting for this new document, and another 150 euros in notary and postage fees down the drain (they said that if my spouse was there, he could simply sign a paper rather than me needing a notarized invitation, but I cannot just teleport him to the consulate now, and they wouldn't accept him talking to them over the phone). And wtf am I supposed to do in these 60 days? I already have to cancel and rebook all my flights... :(

so yes, dont make the same mistake, the website lies to you, they will lie to you over the phone, you **need** this invitation even if they explicitly tell you everything that you need :')

(fck migration laws, this shit has cost me 2k euros and counting)